do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
