not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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