i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
