Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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