No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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