worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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