I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
