Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
