No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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