I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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