he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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