did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm jealous of your bromance
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
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