How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
