I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
