everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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