And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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