woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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