Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
