Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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