i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
