maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
