What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
