hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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