Will you blow on my dice?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
