WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
