I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
