There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
