YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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