The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Where did you get a picture of my penis
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize