Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
