can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize