i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
