im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
