do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i think i just lost a toe
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