he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just pee around me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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