The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
