i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
