Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
