Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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