Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
