Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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