we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
