go do what you do best...puke behind churches
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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