ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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