the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
