I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
