I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
