Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
