tell your sister to shave her snatch
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
