Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
