I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think I just sharted jello shots
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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