You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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