He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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