please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
