The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dick very happy bro
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
