Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
