i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
