This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
